We're Still Pregnant

The last couple of days have been very hard on me emotionally, so I haven't really been in the mood to blog. It is getting harder and harder to lay in this bed 24 hours a day. It is definitely the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Of course, I know it is what my girls need right now and that is why I am doing it, but I am still human...

Yesterday morning they had to give me 3 contraction medications because they were so out of control. They had me on Magnesium (the one I have been on since I got here), then they decided to start Endocin (its a 48 dose of contraction meds), and I had still had more than the allowed amount of contractions in an hour (6 an hour). I think I had like 12 one hour or something so they had to give me the Niphedipine. Since they have started the Endocin, I don't feel as many of them but I am not sure if that is good or bad, but hopefully good.

Then yesterday afternoon when they were doing the babies heart monitoring, Kylee's arrhythmia came back, and you could totally hear it. So again, I started to get extremely worried. The nurses paged the Dr., and the Dr. on call for the day said that he wasn't going to take care of it, he was going to leave it for Dr. Gerstenfeld (the Dr. that admitted me), but he was going to recommend a fetal echo test. Well this pissed me off because who knows when the next day that Dr. G is on, it could be several days, and what if something was wrong with my baby. So then I proceeded to get more anxious and get myself worked up. It wasn't good, but I eventually calmed down. It didn't help that Keith was gone and I was here by myself, and with everything else-I was just was mess.

Last time she had this arrhythmia it corrected itself by the next monitoring session Well, I think the girls just wanted me to worry some more because when they came in later that evening to do the baby monitoring, her arrhythmia was definitely still present. And of course I freaked out again, but the nurses wouldn't do anything this time because the on-call Dr. had already been made aware. They told me I had to wait for Dr. G.

Thankfully, Dr. G came in to see me first thing this morning. She reassured me that they see these arrhythmia's all the time and 99.9% are benign and will resolve themselves by birth or shortly thereafter. She also talked of re-measuring the babies and my cervix today, since today is the 2 week mark of my admission into this hospital. I think I would rather have these measurements taken care of today because Keith is here today, and I seem to do a lot better when he is around.

So the girls gave me quite a weekend, but thankfully we are still pregnant and that is what matters, and that is the whole reason that we are here (even as hard as it is) I feel so out of control of my own life, and all of you that know me-know that doesn't fly with me. But I am learning to adjust, and I am learning to be patient.